First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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