FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
