He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
