Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
