Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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