I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How does one acquire holy water?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize