please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
