just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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