doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
