My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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