More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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