Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
