Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
