oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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