Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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