you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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