Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you had me at cake vodka
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize