You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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