If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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