I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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