Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize