Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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