oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize