I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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