don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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