i can't believe i had my finger in that
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
