Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
