so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
