Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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