Non-Jews are for practice
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
