Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry makayj hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??

Fav 12 1078 2342
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

Fav 11 4552 1179
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways

Fav 6 4499 1459
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.

Fav 32 7161 1419
share tweet
(901): View more from Tennessee

so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist

Fav 12 5342 1386
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten

Fav 9 3709 2106
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.

Fav 5 4152 1032
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(478): View more from Georgia

Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...

Fav 1 640 413
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?

Fav 0 65 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT