Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
