Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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