We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
