I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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