I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
