I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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