I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
