pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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