Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
