i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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