ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
