I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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