none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
