There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
