never play flip cup with pint glasses
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize