Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
