is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
