I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There r osticjed everywhere
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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