i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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