thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
