i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
