No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
