just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
