dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
