Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
