YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
