Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
