So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
