I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
