You smell like a Billy Joel song
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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