piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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