Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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