We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
