My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
