Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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